


read all the words you never said

by fnowae



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, Fluff, Trans Character, i love my daughter !, idk what to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 04:30:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13919403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fnowae/pseuds/fnowae
Summary: Trans girl Patrick accidentally outs herself, and it’s not a big deal at all.





	read all the words you never said

**Author's Note:**

> kudos to the love of my life for giving me this idea ... it’s a blessing and you’re a blessing I love u 
> 
> and thanks to myself for Being Dumbe lol
> 
> enjoy !

Ricky isn’t really paying attention, which is probably why she lets it slip out so easily. 

Everyone is a chaotic mess - Pete and Joe are in a heated argument about whether they should be watching Kindergarten Cop or Terminator - _same difference_ , is what Ricky thinks - and Andy has just burned the popcorn he’s trying to make as an excuse to not be part of the conversation. 

Ricky just wanted to read a goddamn book. She’s got a good mystery novel in her lap and she was just about to find out who killed the old woman on the hill, but it’s hard to concentrate on fictional murder when two of your band mates are about to commit real murder over Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

And so it follows that Ricky’s not paying attention, not thinking, when she blurts out, “God _damn_ , can’t a girl get her peace?”

She freezes the second it’s out of her mouth, because no, no, Pete, Joe, and Andy aren’t supposed to _know_ , she wasn’t supposed to _tell them_ , and suddenly she’s bracing herself, hoping no one noticed, hoping she’s not about to...she doesn’t know, get cursed out? Get disowned? (Can you get disowned from a band?)

Except none of that happens. Ricky supposes maybe she’s lucky and they didn’t hear after all, but then Pete gives Joe a self-satisfied grin and says, “Yeah, _Joe_ , leave her alone.”

Ricky blinks once, twice, wonders if she should check her hearing because there’s no way she heard what she just heard. 

“Fuck _off_ , Pete,” Joe responds. “You were the one who suggested a movie! _I’m_ not the one bothering her with obscene justifications for why Terminator is apparently a good movie!”

So, Ricky’s dreaming, apparently. This is _not_ real life. There’s no way Pete and Joe are just - just accepting what she’d accidentally let slip out without questioning it. 

“Terminator _is_ a good movie!” Pete complains, and suddenly they aren’t even noticing Ricky anymore. She’s left sitting shell-shocked in the couch, unsure what to do, how she’s supposed to react. 

“I’m gonna go read in the other room. You guys have your movie,” she pipes up weakly, hoping her voice doesn’t reveal how shaken she is. She stands up slowly, taking a deep breath to steady herself. 

“Thanks,” Joe says, “we’re gonna have a lot of fun watching Kindergarten Cop.”

“Terminator!” Pete insists as Ricky turns and walks out, mystery novel still clasped right in her hands. 

Ricky finds her bunk and collapses into it. She lets the book fall somewhere into the covers, where she’s sure won’t find it for another two weeks. It’s fine, she needs some time to process, and she already knows the grandson did it, anyway.

///

Two weeks pass. Nothing changes. Pete, Joe, and Andy keep on referring to Ricky as “she” and “her” without any further reminders. (They even self-correct; Pete especially has issues remembering, but he always catches himself within two seconds and spends the next five minutes apologizing profusely, no matter how much Ricky tells him it’s _fine_ , really.)

Two weeks is the time it takes for Ricky to accidentally let something slip again. 

It comes in the form of Joe poking his head into the cramped kitchen, where everyone else is busy trying to convince Pete not to do the “melt marshmallows in a microwave” experiment, and calling, “Can _someone_ tell Patrick she left her guitar on my bunk, and if she doesn’t get it in five minutes it’s going out the fucking window?”

Ricky winces and automatically corrects, “Ricky.” Then she freezes, eyes darting around the room, looking for some sort of negative reaction that she keeps expecting to come. 

There’s none. Joe just sighs and repeats, “Can someone tell _Ricky_ I’m about to fucking kill her guitar if she doesn’t come get it?” 

Ricky’s heart skips a beat, because she hasn’t heard that name aloud before, and it just feels _good_.

Then her brain decides to function properly again, and she realizes what Joe had actually said. 

“Shit, okay, I’m coming,” she says, heading towards Joe and tossing the bag of marshmallows she’s currently using to play a game of Keep Away From Pete over her shoulder to Andy. 

Pete makes a plaintive noise when Andy catches it without it being snatched out of midair before it lands. Ricky’s heart is still nearly beating out of her chest with joy as she goes to retrieve the guitar. 

///

It’s an off day. There’s no show tonight, nothing to do today, Joe suggested a movie marathon, and it looks like that’s what they’re doing. Maybe the lack of going out is why when Ricky gets up, goes to the bathroom, and has her daily bout of cursing out the mirror, she finally decides to do something about it. 

Ricky’s bag has a false bottom. It’s not for illegal money or drugs or whatever - though she thinks it’d make a cool crime movie if it was. It’s for the stuff she’s bought in moments of weakness, but rarely actually takes out. 

There’s a wrinkled ziploc bag of makeup, two dresses, and a chain with a cloudy pink circular gem on the end. Ricky grabs the makeup, necklace, and one of the dresses before she can change her mind. 

She locks herself in the bathroom and gets to it. She puts the dress on first, pulling the creamy coral satin on and letting herself find relief in the soft feel of the fabric. She puts the necklace around her neck, struggling a little with the clasp, then finds a hairbrush dropped under the sink and brushes her hair as much as she can without it pulling at tangles and hurting. (Not much.) 

She squints at the mirror, and decides _fuck it_ , it’s time to finally fucking kill the damn sideburns. 

She’s always hated them, she’s just always thought of them as the price she paid to be able to grow out her hair without arousing suspicion. But now she doesn’t feel the need to pay anymore. Shaving them off brings her the greatest joy she’s ever felt. 

After that’s out of the way, Ricky peels open her makeup bag and chooses the bare minimum - pinkish lipstick, eyeliner, almost-skin tone gold eyeshadow - but enough that it’ll still be noticeable. She takes ten minutes to put her skimpy makeup selection on, and then, taking a deep, shaky breath, steps back. 

For the first time in her life, Ricky looks into the mirror, and feels good about what she sees. 

Beaming, she takes another deep breath and walks back out of the bathroom.

Ricky isn’t sure why she expected some kind of reaction. Nothing about this has gotten one so far, but this feels big, feels _huge_ , actually. 

And no one says anything about this, either. 

Andy, Pete, and Joe are eating breakfast already, and the only acknowledgement Ricky gets is Joe greeting her, “Sorry, Pete stole the rest of your Rice Krispies.”

Ricky’s eyes dart to Pete, who is, in fact, eating a bowl of cereal next to a box clearly marked in black sharpie, “RICKY’S CEREAL, DO NOT TOUCH”. 

“I hate you,” Ricky informs him, dropping into a chair across the table. 

“You can have some of my Lucky Charms,” Joe offers. 

“Finally, a good man,” Ricky says, rolling her eyes. Pete pulls a face at her. Joe hands her a bowl of cereal and milk. 

“So,” Andy pipes up, watching the whole affair with amusement, “how does ‘everyone picks two movies and that’s our marathon for the day’ sound?” 

“Somehow, Pete and Joe are still gonna disagree,” Ricky says, taking a bite of her breakfast. 

“Hey, I’m _trying_ ,” Andy responds, but he laughs a little. 

Ricky takes another bite, and decides that this is the best she’s ever felt. 

///

At about 11:21 that night, Ricky is sitting in her bed. She’s wearing a loose t-shirt and sweatpants rather than her dress, but she hasn’t yet taken off her makeup, because even if she can’t see it, she can very faintly feel it, and the light touch of the makeup reminds her that her face still looks like the face in the mirror that morning, like she’s always wanted it to look - it’s a girl’s face. 

She’s finally finishing that mystery book, which she’d eventually found tied up in a corner of her sheets - it turns out the grandson did it after all - and she’s rudely interrupted by someone pulling open the curtain of her bunk without warning and throwing themselves into her lap. 

“Ricky,” Pete greets her, or rather, greets her bed, because his face is pressed into her blanket, “be my girlfriend.”

“Go to bed, Pete,” Ricky says, sighing and turning the page. 

“ _Ricky Stump_ ,” Pete continues, “be my _girlfriend_.”

“Pete, are you drunk or something?” Ricky asks, closing her book and setting it aside to stare at Pete, still spread across her lap, with concern. 

“No,” Pete says, “I’m in _love_.”

Ricky sighs. “Pete-“

“Ricky...uh...Ricky _middle name_ Stump,” Pete begins. 

“Heather,” Ricky provides absentmindedly. 

“Mhm,” Pete mumbles. “ _Ricky Heather Stump_ , be my girlfriend.”

Ricky gets the sudden feeling that this isn’t one of Pete’s “jokes”. Which, like, is sort of a good thing, because - well, to put it simply, there’s a _very_ small list of guys that keep Ricky just left of lesbian, and Pete is one of those. But also, the timing feels...uncomfortable. 

“Pete,” Ricky says, cringing, “Your thing for going after every girl you see doesn’t have to extend to me.” 

“Huh?” Pete turns his face up off the bed, finally making eye contact with Ricky. 

Ricky shakes her head. “Listen, okay, you’re not subtle, I get that I just presented feminine for the first time and suddenly you want to go after me, but-“

“ _What_?” Pete asks, pushing himself all the way up and moving to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“I appreciate it, but-“ Ricky starts, but Pete interrupts her. 

“No, no, you’ve got this wrong,” Pete says, looking genuinely offended that Ricky would even suggest that. “Oh my god, Ricky, I’m not doing this because you’re a girl, I’m doing this ‘cause you’re _you_!” 

Ricky opens and closes her mouth, slightly taken aback. Out of all the defenses she’d expected to come out of Pete’s mouth...well, that one didn’t even make the list. 

“ _Ricky_ ,” Pete continues, “I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you since the day we met, I don’t care if you’re a girl or a guy or - I mean, I _care_ , and I’ll support you through whatever - but holy shit, that has nothing to do with _this_.”

Ricky is still silent, shocked, unsure how to react, because this is going too fast and everything is happening at once and all she wanted to do tonight was find out the grandson’s motive. 

“Ricky Stump,” Pete says again once he sees that Ricky isn’t going to respond, “be my girlfriend.”

“I-“ Ricky begins weakly. “Uh-“

“ _Please_ say yes,” Pete insists, “so I can kiss you right fucking now. Thank you.”

Ricky isn’t sure she can make the word “yes” pass between her lips, as much as she wants to, so instead she just grabs Pete by his stupid, stupid hair and tugs him in so fast it hurts a little when their lips crash together, but that doesn’t even matter anymore. 

When Pete pulls back, Ricky’s messy attempt at a kiss has left the remnants of her lipstick smeared across his face, but she can’t bring herself to care. 

“Ricky, _RickyRickyRicky_ ,” Pete breathes out, eyes wide and mouth stretched into what must be the biggest grin physically possible, “You are the most beautiful girl in the world, and I love you _so_ much.”

Ricky’s heart is thudding in her chest, the reaction she _still_ instinctively has to being called Ricky or she or a girl, and her half-functioning brain works only well enough for her to pull Pete into her arms and respond, “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> :D hope you enjoyed! Comments make my day!
> 
> thanks for reading !


End file.
